McKay's first day of Preschool

I have been nervous for the day since I found out when McKay was about 1 that he would be starting a special needs preschool. We realized close to that age that McKay most likely would never "catch up". It was a hard realization. I can still remember asking our pediatrician if he ever thought McKay would catch up developmentally. I was pretty sure he wouldn't, but needed someone to confirm my suspicions. It does feel different hearing it as well. from a doctor that we trust.
But I can remember asking our therapists at Kids on the Move what would happen once he gradauated from Kids on the move, and they said he would enter a special needs preschool when he turned three. I was pretty terrified for this day, even more terrified the closer it got. Last year when he turned three his doctor and Kyle and I all agreed that going to school would not be the best idea for his health yet. So we did home hospital where his therapists and a teacher from the school district came into the home. It was nice, but I knew he really was not getting everything out of it that he needed to be, or that he could be getting from school. So we got things going to start him in a school for the fall. It was a major process figuring out what school, what special needs school, when, where and what teacher. It was months and months of worry, phone calls, more worry, and more phone calls.

We decided on sending him to the Autism preschool. They opened up another Autism preschool this year through the Alpine school district at Greenwood elementary in American Fork. We also had to get him switched to the morning session (they had him in afternoon but he still naps every day and I did not think it would be good to add totally tired to the things the teacher would already be battling). We tried to get things to work out for him to ride the bus to school as well (that is one reason we got the wheelchair for him). But we were not able to get it to work out, he would have had to be on the bus for an hour each way and leave the house at 6:55 AM. So we decided I would drive him each day.  We also were told he would not be eating lunch at school but found out differently the night before. After really talking about it we decided he wasn't ready for lunch at school or in the big lunchroom. So we decided I would pick him up an hour early each day. We met the teacher the night before he was to start and I was hopeful to go in and meet her and come out feeling much calmer about McKay starting school. But I came out more worried and actually in tears. The other kids I saw that would be going there were so much more advanced than McKay and his teacher was really young. Like fresh out of college this was her first teaching job. I immediately judged her (Have since learned how wrong I was), and was immediately worried she didn't have the experience we needed. After talking to Kyle, talking to Kyle's parents, talking to my Mom and talking to one of my favorite most trusted therapists of McKay we decided to go ahead and try it. We didn't have any other great options, so with a leap of faith and a prayer we pushed forward with him going to school.

My favorite picture from the day!

The morning McKay was to start school I was a mess. I started crying at about 6 am. I was so nervous I couldn't eat, I just had a stomach ache. I got McKay ready and got his breakfast and took him out to take some pictures. My Mom and Kelli all gave McKay a hug and then my mom came to give me a hug. I lost it, everything I had been trying to hold in came out. My fear, all of my worry and how scared I really was. I wiped my tears and got McKay in the car.

I got him into the room and got him settled. Luckily I had talked to his teacher before and suggested that we let him have his I pad when we brought him. She was pretty hesitant but I don't think she really realized how attached he is to the I pad and the Bubble Guppies. I think it helped tremendously for him to have that. It for sure keeps him calm and comforts him and makes things much less stressful on him. I got him out of his chair and over to the chairs in the classroom and got him settled and headed for the door. He was so engrossed in his Guppies that he didn't even notice I was leaving. I made it out the door before I broke down, then I made it to the car before the sobbing started.

I cried the whole way home. It felt so lonely in the car. I dried my tears once I got to our neighborhood, I didn't want Carson and Brynn to think anything was wrong. I got them dressed and breakfast and out the door. Luckily Grandma Randall was there so everything went a little bit smoother for the kids.

After I got the kids off to school my Mom and I headed to the outlets to do a little shopping and take my mind off of McKay. We hit a few stores and stopped to get a treat at Rocky Mountain Chocolate factory. It helped tremendously to have my mom there and to be out and distracted. I was so glad she had offered to come up and so glad we went out. I am pretty sure I would have sat home in the deathly silent house and cried until it was time to get McKay.

I practically ran into the preschool room once we got to McKay's school. We were both very excited to see each other. I picked him up and he immediately stroked my face and laid his head on my shoulder. It was so sweet and exactly what I needed. He wouldn't let me put him down and just held onto me for dear life while I talked to his teacher and one of his therapist. His teacher said he did great for the first day, he was pretty much attached to the I pad the whole time, but he was there! We both survived I am happy to report! He survived and I made it the 3 1/2 hours that he was gone! I think school is going to be great for him! It is going to be a huge adjustment but I really hope he can have some real growth this year from it! I am so hopeful for what the year holds for him.