My thoughts and someday memories of my NICU experience

I debate about even putting this on here, but I know years down the road I will have forgotten what I am feeling right now.

The best way for me to describe the past month is overwhelmed, let me elaborate.

We have been overwhelmed with people offering to help. Normally I am the one offering to help or trying to give as much service as I can, it is hard to be the one always asking. We have had so many friends and family members who are more than willing to help in any way they can. Prayers, fasting, meals, and mostly helping with the kids. We are so grateful to all of those who continually ask what else they can do or when they can help with the kids next. We are truly blessed to have such an amazing support system at this time. We can feel the love of all those who are thinking and praying for us.
I am overwhelmed at the understanding of my children. The past month my two kids have been shuffled, shipped off and dropped off more than they have probably in their whole life. But neither of them complain about any of it. I know it truly is a blessing that they are doing so well with all of us. Kyle and I are constantly taking shifts with them and constantly coming and going. But through it all they have remained their happy selves. They keep me smiling and laughing through it all. We try so hard to keep their lives some what normal, but it is hard.
The love I feel for my husband is beyond overwhelming. I have never been so in love with him. It is odd that something such as this experience is what made me love him even more. He is constantly taking care of me, worried about me, or doing what he can to help. He hasn't complained about the fact that he has to go work a 10 hour work day and then entertain, feed, and get kids to bed as I go to the hospital day after day. He constantly is reminding me of the good things not the bad and to stay uplifted. He always gives me a shoulder to cry on, I consider it a good thing if I haven't cried in a couple of days. He is amazing and I love him more now than I ever have.
Dealing with everything that goes on with McKay is OVERWHELMING. His progress usually changes daily. It seems like each day something has changed, sometime for the good, but a lot of times not for the good. It is such an emotional roller coaster. I was so excited to be able to start feeding him because I felt like it was really the only thing I could do to help him. But it has been incredibly trying to watch him as most feedings he struggles to breath and is constantly gasping for air. It is exhausting listening to the doctors go over the good and the bad things that are going on. I know it's not a race but it is so hard to see all babies around him go home and we are still there.
I am overwhelmed with how much closer this has brought us to our savior. This little angel that has blessed our lives is closer to Heavenly Father than any of us realize. We know now more than ever that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and everything happens for a reason. What reason we may never know, but a very definite reason.
I am overwhelmed by the love shown from our families. Kyle's parents are so giving and the most unselfish people I know. They will do anything to help us now. Whether that means giving Kyle time off of work or watching the kids for the millionth time. They also go to visit McKay as often as they can, and read him books. It has been incredibly trying not having my parents here. They call often to get all the updates on everything that is going on. We can feel their love and support, and worry from Africa.

We hope that we are nearing the end of this very emotional ordeal. We are grateful for all of the doctors and nurses that have been taking care of McKay. We can tell they genuinely care how he is doing. Thanks again for ALL of the love that everyone has sent our way!